My Tourniquet
by Icy Wings
Summary: Ray recalls his life during his last hour. Includes the lyrics from My Tourniquet by Evanescence. In Ray’s point of view. One shot.


My Tourniquet  
  
By  
  
Starryiceangel  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade. If I did I would leave it incomplete due to the fact that I am a very lazy human. I also do not, I repeat, DO NOT, own My Tourniquet by Evanescence!   
  
What I own: I only own this plot and my character, Roselyn. Who I apparently threw in to thicken the plot.  
  
Summary: Ray recalls his life during his last hour. Includes the lyrics from My Tourniquet by Evanescence.  
  
In Ray's point of view. One shot.  
  
Key:  
  
_[Lyrics]_  
  
"Speaking"  
  
_Thinking_  
  
_-Flashback-_

* * *

Author's note: I'm not exactly sure what Ray's middle name is so bear with me!  
  
I sit on my bed, in my room. This was my last hour. My last time on Earth. I don't know how I concluded to this decision. I don't even understand my whole entire life. It's a bit strange how one finds life is perfect yet it's so cold and heartless. I walk out of my room, for the last time.   
  
_Remember, there's no turning back. I reminded myself_.  
  
_[I tried to kill the pain_

_but only brought more]_  
  
I walk into the bathroom, with the kitchen knife in my hand. I start to remember the pains and cries I made when I was forced to endure the whips I had to take when I did something my parents didn't like, or how I was always taunted for not getting As' on my tests or not being doing everything perfectly by my parents. I began to remember the one day, when they began to hurt me just because I spoke to her, Roselyn, The Flower Maiden people called her. I'm sorry guys, I'm sorry I have to leave you guys, Max, Kenny, Tyson, and Kai. I'm sorry also to you, Roselyn, I'm so sorry for not keeping your last wishes. I'm so sorry.  
  
_[I lay dying _

_and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal]_  
  
_-Flashback-  
  
"Raymond James Kong! Get over here now, I demand you to. I know what you did!" yelled a woman with long black hair, golden eyes, much like Ray's, with anger flashing in them. She wore a simple red dress with a flower printed apron on top. She had her hands on her hips and had a feather duster in a broom in her left hand.  
  
A small, eight year old Ray plodded out of the bushes towards the woman. "Yes Mother?" Ray asked looking at his feet or rather the ground.  
  
"You know what you did Raymond. You disobeyed the rules by going near, her." Mother said angrily with a look of disgust then continued," How dare you? Your Father and I haven't taught you to be near one of those strange people, did we? No!" Mother scolded while slapping Ray across the face.  
  
"But Mother…" Ray said drifting off as tears began to pour down his cheeks.  
  
"But nothing Ray!" She yelled while swiping Ray with the wooden part of her broom on Ray's wrist which was the thing blocking his face.  
  
-End of Flashback-  
_  
"Mother, why wasn't I allowed to talk to Roselyn?" I whispered to myself.  
  
I soon began to remember the last time I ever saw her, before she left this world after taking a part of me with her along.  
  
_[I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming _

_am I too lost to be saved _

_am I too lost?]_  
  
_-Flashback-  
  
"Roselyn, where are you?" called a twelve year old Ray wearing his usual outfit.  
  
"I'm over here Ray." said a soft but sorrowful voice, the voice of Roselyn May.  
  
Ray turned to see a small red head. She had white skin and very long red, fiery, hair, it reached to her knees. Her eyes were closed and tears were falling to the ground. Roselyn was sitting on a rock her head down looking at the ground. Ray walked over to her.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" Ray asked while looking at the girl, pushing a red lock out of her face.  
  
Roselyn looked up at Ray, her eyes now open showing her sad green eyes.  
  
"Ray, I'm sorry, but I must leave you, this world I mean." Roselyn whispered sadly.  
  
"Why? What's wrong?" Ray asked now worried about Roselyn.  
  
"It's my life. You know how everyone looks at me like I'm some sort of disease Ray. I know about the rumors about me and the way people talk behind my back when I'm not looking. I know that you've been getting hurt just because we talk to each other and that we are friends. I'm sorry but I know this way will make me happy." Roselyn said while giving a sad smile.  
  
"No, please don't leave me. Things will get better you'll see." Ray said but knowing the truth that it won't.  
  
"I know this is the best way Ray. I want you to know this though. I wish for you to grow up happily. Stay strong, please." Roselyn said.  
  
"Roselyn, please--" Ray began but Roselyn interrupted him.  
  
"No, I will leave. I'm sorry Ray. Please follow my wishes, please." Roselyn pleaded getting up from the rock and looked at the flowers that were around them, with a sad expression on her face.  
  
"I see this is really the end is it?" Ray said looking at the ground then an idea hit him," Hey Roselyn, can you come over here for a moment?" Ray asked.  
  
Roselyn agreed and walked to Ray. Ray made a secret smile. He knew what he was going to do.  
  
"Alright I'm here. What now?" Roselyn asked clueless of what Ray wanted her to do.  
  
"This…" Ray said before kissing Roselyn on the lips.  
  
Roselyn gasped, letting Ray's explore her mouth. He broke the kiss with a grin on his face.  
  
"Ray, why did you do that?" Roselyn asked with a weak smile.  
  
"I suppose it's because, it's because I love you. Although I know how your life is so I'm willing to let you leave me but after I gave you my first kiss, which I did." Ray said going a bit red.  
  
Roselyn smiled then said," I see, well good bye Ray. I love you too." Roselyn said before running to her home.  
  
Ray sighed. "Good bye Roselyn, I'll see you in the after world. I promise." He whispered.  
  
-End of Flashback-  
_  
I sighed as I began to remember Roselyn. Her eyes, her scent, her lovely hair, and her personality. She was always full of life. But why'd she have to die? Why couldn't she live and be happy like she wanted to be? I begin to cut my arms with the knife. I watch as the blood falls into the sink, where I am standing over. I look at myself in the mirror. Is this how Roselyn felt like? I cut my wrist, then my palms; I suppose I should pray right? Haven't done that in awhile. I sigh and begin to pray, praying that I would be united with Roselyn and be with her again. It's been three years since her death yet I still think of her, I still wish for her to still be here with me again. Then a thought suddenly hits me.  
  
_[do you remember me _

_lost for so long _

_will you be on the other side _

_or will you forget me]_  
  
Will she even remember me? Will we actually be united, will I be in hell and she will be in Heaven? Or am I so lost that I won't be able to find her? Or, did she forget me? I wonder what will be Max's reaction when he finds out that I'm dead. I knew he was a bit gay, I saw him looking at me in a perverted way when I was sitting on my bed writing my letters to a few of my fans. Maybe I should leave a note? No, I suppose I could record my last words on my cell phone.   
  
I grab my cell phone out of my pockets. I bring my fingers to the recording button and I begin to talk.  
  
"Hello guys. I know this is sad that I killed myself, but that's what I did. This is my last time here on Earth and I'm running out of time. I'll miss all of you, except one of you guys." Ray pauses and makes a fake coughing sound which sounded like Max. "Anyways, I wish I could say good bye but it's a bit hard for me. So this is my end. Good bye everyone. Please do not grieve so much and stay strong and be happy. Don't follow my path, follow yours." I said then ended the message.   
  
_[My God my tourniquet _

_Return to me salvation _

_my God my tourniquet _

_Return to me salvation]_  
  
Is there really a God? I ask myself before taking the knife in my bloody hand and putting it against my left cheekbone.  
  
_[My wounds cry for the grave_

_My soul cries for deliverance]_  
  
I look at myself at the mirror. I soon realize this is what my parents tried to protect me from. My Father tried to make me tough so that I won't resort to suicide, like Roselyn's fate. Then my Mother tried to take the loving part. They both did one lousy job.  
  
_[Will I be denied Christ]_  
  
I think Christ favors people and likes to be unfair. Christ must find that some people are the ones to be lucky and other non luck people are the one who suffer. God is unfair. I wish for him to make people be lucky and all be the same when it comes to life.  
  
_[Tourniquet]_  
  
This is my tourniquet of life. Dying and thinking of Roselyn. Soon Roselyn, I shall be with you. I promise.  
  
_[My suicide]_  
  
"My suicide." I sing to myself in a low sad tone. Then without protest, I close my eyes, and died.

* * *

Yes, sad am I right? I am a bit shock on how long it took me to write this! I started it at 2:55 and it's now 5:28! Three whole hours! My goodness! So that's how long it took me and I know it's a bit odd to make Ray die right? You all were expecting Kai right? Well anyways yea that was the fan fiction. And if any of you guys were wondering the main point of this story I think is love and life. Life because it's so unknown yet people take it for granted. Love because it seems so innocent and perfect but it can also bring things into bliss or just a horrible tragedy. Reply and review and flame me if you want. Just wanted that to get out. Anyways, bye for now! 


End file.
